さようなら

先週の金曜日(十月十九日)、私は私の犬に「さようなら」と言いました。 ２００５の四月にWest Virginiaで「Kari」という犬を買いました。 ジャーマン・シェパードとシベリアン・ハスキーの犬種でした。　直ぐにKariは私の大切な友人になりました。　毎日家に帰る時、Kariと遊びました。　公園を散歩したり、フェッチをしたり、テレビを見たりしました。 私の犬は本当に私のベストフレンドでした。 先週の金曜日、仕事をした時、弟は私に電話をかけました。　弟は「Kariはとても病気です。獣医にいきました」と言っていました。　私は怖くなりました。　 ---------- Writing this part in English because it's late and I have no idea how to even word it in Japanese. It's difficult to even write this at all because the pain is very fresh on my mind: I wanted to leave work early to be with my dog, but we had a lot of customers, and I was not permitted to leave. If I had known what was about to come, I would have left anyway. A few hours later, my brother contacted me again and said that they were going to put Kari to sleep. She apparently had cancer in her liver (肝癌), and a tumor had burst and caused internal bleeding. The vet didn't think there was much of a chance to save her even if we had the money for the surgery (It was $2000 for a full exam and another $3000 minimum for the operation, then additional expenses for the time she would have to stay in their care--No small amount for me when I currently work part time and attend UW Milwaukee). The worst part of this experience...? The first line of this blog. "Last Friday (October 19th), I said goodbye to my dog." The truth is, I never had a chance to say goodbye. The animal hospital was in Oak Creek, and I was all of the way in Sturtevant at work and wouldn't have made it there in time. All I seem to be able to think about this past week is that my dog died alone. She was probably scared out of her mind and thought I abandoned her. I don't think I'm going to be able to let go of this and move on for a very long time.

Kari, I love you more than anything in the world, and I hope you'll be waiting for me on the other side when I get there. Also, I know the lyrics really aren't fully appropriate to the situation, but this song has been stuck in my head every day since October 19th: Apparently adding photos and embedding a video completely destroyed the formatting of this post, and I can't figure out how to fix it.